In a situation where tourists ask "Do you take cash?", and shoppers wonder why the queue at the check-out takes so long: I ask, how did plastic become the new paper?
And why would Transport for London fool the public into thinking they have the right to pay by any means they wish and the business owner has no say in the transaction?
TfL are very anti cash. If you want to hop on a bus with cash, forget it.
If you do not have a card or you are overdrawn, you have to purchase an Oyster card in a shop. Yes walk away from the bus, watch it drive off, and go purchase your Oyster.
I know you are confused, but this is TfL we are talking about, and they do not think like you and me.
TfL are not the only culprits. Councils like the 'convenience' of plastic too. Try parking your car without a smartphone or money in your account.
When I say 'convenience', I mean convenient for the Council, not for the consumer.
Taxis are the last bastion of consumer choice. For decades Taxis have been accepting both card and cash, for their customers' convenience.
So why are the likes of TfL and Westminster Council pushing so hard to for a cashless society?
Firstly you have to look at who gains from a plastic economy.
The reason card payments are being foisted as the only way to pay José, is so some fat phuk can sit sucking on his Cohiba, with a flute of Gout de Diamants in one hand, and an under-aged Russian prostitute in the other, sunning himself on his yacht in the South of France, as five percent of everyone's spending makes its way into his offshore account, without him have to put his champagne or child bride down.
Cash is no good for his lifestyle. He would have to start working for a living. And his Swiss banker would stop inviting him around for Christmas on the piste.
Back home his minions in Parliament are encouraging debt, and educating trendies on how entering your card and then your
PIN and then wait for clearance, is so much more convenient than that dirty money with its meat based fivers.
What a job, hey?
Sitting there on your yacht, waiting for the suckers to start spending.
Once the 'suckers' have paid their 'income tax' and their oxymoronic 'value added tax', they can then pay more for the privilege of spending their own hard earned non-cash.
And if they run into debt, because they are uncertain of how much they actually possess, they can use their plastic credit to bide them over till the end of the month; at a reasonable rate of interest of course. Deemed reasonable by your mate on the yacht moored next to yours.
What a great scam, hey?
But would anybody fall for it?
Maybe not. But you can dream can't you?
Dream of a land of blinkered sheep.
Spring lambs, whose only worry is where they are going out on the weekend.
Or the muttons dressed as lamb, who buy bacon by the slice, and live in perpetual debt.
And then there are the tups, who believe they have everything sorted, who don't own their house so much as it owns them. They got on the treadmill years ago and they will keep pushing themselves until it finally kills them.
Sheep literally dying to pay for your newer, bigger yacht.
The wolf is at the door.