Monday, December 07, 2015


Dear Mayor Johnson,
According to ‘Beyond the Kerb’, nine misfortunate cyclists have lost their lives in London already this year.

I believe that your blinkered ideology of enforcing a capacious Cycle Super Highway upon the already overburdened streets of a city such as London, will cause not only chaos, but contribute to a higher death rate.

Your plans to funnel and chicane London’s traffic through major roads, bisected to accommodate a handful of cycles, will literally choke the efficiency out of the Emergency Services.

Your ego fuelled resolve to get the CSH finished before you relinquish your tenure as Mayor, has compounded the ongoing fiasco that is ‘Roadworks London’.

To placate your self-glorifying timetable, Victoria Embankment and Upper Thames Street will be closed from Southwark Bridge to Westminster Bridge, between 20:00 and 06:00, from 6th December until 23rd December 2015.
God help anyone in need of the Emergency Services during this period.

The ripple effect the closure of the Embankment will have on the surrounding area, both sides of the Thames, will be devastating.
God forbid London suffers a Paris style terrorist attack.

Your conceit has paralysed the Emergency Services; no police, ambulances or fire engines would be able to get through.

If anyone is injured or taken seriously ill, they will be left to their own devices, because no cavalry will appear in time to save them.

Your predecessor’s aim of getting everyone out of their cars and onto bikes, has failed miserably on your watch. Under your helmsmanship, people have not abandoned their cars, but abandoned your stationary buses.

Ex bus users have found it quicker to walk, than sit on a motionless bus. Many have opted for the overcrowded Tube.

The Tube during rush hour is unbearable. If livestock were transported in that fashion, its lines would be shut down by the RSPCA.

Empty buses clog the roads during rush hour. Boris bikes weave in and out of pedestrians, whilst vehicles of all shapes and sizes bellow noxious fumes for twice the amount of time their journey used to take.

Under your watchful eye, ‘Transport for London’ have increased the number of Private Hire vehicles by twenty six percent, to eighty six thousand, in just two years. 

The oxymoronic ‘rush hour’ has become an all day feast of frustration and pollution.
Nine thousand Londoners die each year from air pollution.

How many more are going to die from your ineptitude?

Your incompetence has rendered this once great city defenceless.
You were elected Mayor to serve the people, not your hubris.
I once thought your buffoonery was an act. I now believe your stupidity far outweighs your ignorance.

Hopefully a new Mayor will have the backbone to reverse many of your disastrous decisions.

Yours sincerely,
L H Etheridge 


Anonymous said...

Here here nuff said!!

Anonymous said...

How could the incompetent clown argue with that ? An absolutely accurate and truthful account of what ourselves, Londoners and visitors have to endure on a daily basis.
What on earth must foreign investors and tourists think of us here ? You might expect it in Calcutta, but we are supposed to represent the cutting edge of what its like to live the dream! My arse, it is ! The quicker this numb skull goes, the better ! Zac, back and crack wont be a lot better either. You watch !
Well written Len ! You must surely speak for all of us.
Be lucky mate.

Anonymous said...

I would like to add my weight to this opinion.

Anonymous said...

Blimey, you don't f**k about do you?

Brian said...

The lunatics are in charge at the asylum.
Caligula made his horse a Senator...we made a donkey our mare.

Anonymous said...

I 100% agree.

Anonymous said...

Elephant and Castle fuck up is unbelievable - traffic is fucked for miles in every direction from it. According Twitter it was back to lewisham this morning. Christmas at night is going to be ridiculous east to west and vice versa - no embankment and no elephant and castle - good luck wriggling about!!!!!

Anonymous said...

As TFL/ Boris are only responsible for the A roads he is running the cycle lanes along the very roads heavy traffic uses.

Cyclists are being sacrificed on the alter of bureaucratic expediency, Boris only has a short time to deliver a political legacy , not enough time to liaise with local boroughs and utilise often already pedestrianised, safer side streets.

He's even managed to run his Eastbound route the wrong way, Northbound from Vauxhall to Wateroo. Any cyclist with half a brain will run across the shorter Southbank.

Spectacular mediocrity.

Robin Rowe said...

What a fantastic letter, well done that man

Anonymous said...

I don't think anyone can disagree with the contents of your letter.
Very well put

Anonymous said...

You were far to polite. personally, Id have ripped him a new one. he's a total anus, sooner he's gone the better. doubt if the new maoyr will be any better, they all apear to be made in the same mold these days.

Anonymous said...

The logical and irrefutable consequence of this appallingly dangerous situation is total gridlock and meltdown.

The Greater London area generates at least 25% of the country's GDP. Boris and his buffoons at TfL are jeopardising both the nation's economy and peoples lives. Why is this being allowed to happen when there is so much at stake? Can anyone offer an explanation?

Anonymous said...

Great letter which will be filed under EVERY JOURNEY MATTERS.

Anonymous said...

If this were a speech made in The Commons, the 'here here's' would go on for two hours.

Anonymous said...

Thank God he will be gone by May.

Jim Livingstone said...

I sent a similar letter direct to his office and tfl, last Noveber, which have both been ignored.

Paul Tonkinson said...

This an eloquent, brilliant piece of work.
I wholeheartedly agree with it's entire content.
Well done!!

Paul Tonkinson said...

This an eloquent, brilliant piece of work.
I wholeheartedly agree with it's entire content.
Well done!!

Anonymous said...

Could not agree more. He is causing chaos across London and is aloud to get away with it. Rush hour doesn't exist anymore as I get stuck in traffic at 3am now days. Even cyclists give him the finger. How is one bafoon aloud to cause such chaos. His buses are expensive and pollute massive amounts to pollution. The Emirates river crossing is a disaster and now his cycle highway is a complete f*** up. Get rid of this moron before he can build a bloody garden bridge which london so desperately needs. Not!

Anonymous said...

Traffic Panic London launches on Google Play!:

Anonymous said...

Absolutely awesome summary of this idiots achievements but futile I'm afraid ! This mans arrogance knows no bounds & the wishes and fears of the London public are immaterial!... Nevertheless a well constructed letter , well done .

Anonymous said...

poor old Monty Schiman must be turning in his grave

Alan Wicker

Anonymous said...

Monty Schiman, last of the Mohicans - IMO, one of those that rose to be imortalised as a 'Cab Man'. He fought for his country in The Tank Corps and was grusomely disfigured during WW2. He also fought our trade and was wrongly undermined.

RIP Monty, I am proud to have met you!

Anonymous said...

Couldn't agree more with our colleagues Alan Wicker & Anon 2:44.
Monty Schiman, eh ? What a massive character and fantastic London Taxi stalwart !
I too met Monty many times, and must say it was like being in the presence of a Statesman !
He wouldn't recognise our trade today, would he ?

Rest in peace Monty. We are still hanging on in there. Just !